Israel Umoh
Every relationship, man/man or man/woman, is purely transactional. A relationship borne out of genuine friendship is one beneficial and sustainable to both parties.
Whether as friends or married couple, the parties involved must know what a relationship entails, how to go about it, how to make concessions, how to navigate the bends, how to avoid pitfalls, and how to timely address thorny issues to making the union beneficial, indeed enjoyable, to both parties, is important. Some friends who take certain issues in the union for granted and play pranks with them only get burnt in the process.
Most times, fruitful relationship gives birth to marriage. To sustain it, you should put your axe together– intellect, ability, strength and time, among others- to correct mistakes and get derivables from the institution. These are peace, love, respect, and happiness, among others. For the marital partners, there are expectations. So, they must try to live well in order to meet the expectations, thus warding off distractions or pressures from outside. This would enhance and sustain an enduring relationship. Knowing what your partner wants, knowing how to go about it, getting ready and more determined to get it done would salt the union.
Also read: Dairy of successful marriage Tips
However, there are traps friends, and couple must be wary of and try to flush out the hitches for smooth running of the union. The traps could be self-induced, self-inflicted even human-plotted. But, they are surmountable. Through prayers and personal effort, the couple could succeed to enhance a harmonious relationship. Behold and avoid these 25 traps.
(1) Allowing someone – man or woman- you would not marry to train you in a school or in any skill acquisition programme. Breaking the union or jilting the partner could attract a curse to the person who defaults, or breaks the covenant. Betrayal could cause the love breaker to experience hardship or difficulty in any future relationship with another person.
(2) Entering and making yourself, during dating or engagement, known to the family you know you would not marry is unhealthy. The truth is that when it time for you to marry, you will suffer disappointment and will not know peace owing to the pains you inflicted on the family. It could attract negative wishes from the family you betrayed. Therefore, the law of sowing and reaping must take its cause.
(3) Impregnating the daughter of a rich man is another trap to avoid. The man who is complicit could face imprisonment, torture, murder. This is because the rich family may feel insulted and humiliated. They would want to exact a pound of flesh from the ”stubborn” boyfriend. If they are married, the family sees the husband as a gold digger and could use their riches to cage the person, or make his life unbearable.
(4) Falling in love with a man who does not love you is deadly. This would make the girl to struggle to do untoward things to please and keep him. It may result in heartache even hypertension in event of disappointment. The girl may resort to visiting false prophets, sorcerers even soothsayers to get ‘‘charms’’ or do ‘‘assignment’’ to get a commitment for the the man to love her. This could lead to a disastrous end, or even plunge the woman into depression and untimely death.
(5) Struggling to keep a relationship with a girl who is betrothed or befriended by a rich person, who is richer than you. You will overstretch yourself or go astray to steal to please her. In the process, you lose respect and will be thrown into huge indebtedness. The man struggling to keep the ‘‘love of his life’’ could dabble into juju to gaining her attention. This might not land the man safely.
(6) Loving a woman who does not love you. You will plead, lavish her with money and gifts, throw birthday parties for her, but she remains an ingrate and not reciprocating. She will not respect you. Love is not bought with rubies, but earned naturally.
(7) Loving a lazy man or woman. If you marry a lazy person, you will suffer and die young in the union. This is because you will work tirelessly to satisfy your partner but to no avail. To sustain the union, you would overwork yourself, use short cuts to make both ends meet, but you will fail.
(8) Bearing children for a foolish man attracts opprobrium and jeers from friends and relations. You will suffer shame and humiliation and delay. In the process, you will would fend singlehandedly for the children’s welfare and will look frail and aging unduly, looking older than your age mates.
(9) Falling in love with a financially buoyant man. After wasting your youthful time, he may not marry you. Rather, he will marry a ‘‘fresh’’ person. To make up, you will rush and end up marrying an older or a poor person. This is because when you were young and in the ‘‘blooming age,’’ you must have ignored or turned down credible marriage proposal of poor but potential or destiny suitors. After a while, the suitors would stop making advances. When you are ready to marry after ‘‘wasting your youthful time’’ and when frustration had set in, you marry what is available, perhaps a poor or an efulefu person, not according to your choice.
(10) Marrying or falling in love with a sex maniac or a person with high libido is another trap. This is a partner who demands sex everyday and every time. The trap is that you will be ebbing spiritually in that lustful thoughts not ethereal things become more appealing to you. Thinking of planning for the family or even going out to make money to maintain the family is secondary to him.
(11) Being in a steamy relationship with a woman you cannot control her movement. She could threaten to break up if you try to monitor her. She could make the union boisterous and cantankerous. By inference, the person is unfaithful. If you marry her, you could beget strange children from different fathers.
(12) Marrying or falling in love with a man or woman who comes from or has a Satanic or Occult background. Sometimes, the parents could be alive or dead, but the spiritual captivity exists and binds the spouse and their marriage. Indeed, the marriage is in jeopardy or would experience many difficulties or untold hardships owing to demonic spiritual background of the family. Great deliverance and denunciation of the background is a solution.
(13) Marrying or getting married to a rich man or woman who does not love or appreciate you. However, you will see the money, but you won’t enjoy it; you will marry, but you won’t see the man in the house. To satisfy his filthy lucre, he would marry another wife, or could divorce you.
(14) Marrying from the family your father in-law or mother in-law had divorced. You will not feel their warmth, cordiality and cooperation. You would not have satisfaction of meeting them even the daughter may be visiting her parents differently. If divorce was inherited problem or a generational curse, she could suffer the same fate.
(15) Forcing a man or woman into a relationship, hoping the person will reciprocate could be disastrous. Do not try this if love does not exist between the two. Sometime parents do this to attract favours from the family the man or woman belongs.
(16) Dating or being engaged to someone, who regularly checks or monitors your movement or suspects and accuses you of infidelity. Whether as a permanent boyfriend or girlfriend, this is borne out of uncanny fear and jealousy. In the long run, the man or woman would gnash teeth in that the partner could become a terror in the union. You could be abandoned and you may not have any opportunity to marry a person of your choice. For a woman, she may not be able to bear a child because she has a limited period to clock menopause.
(17) Loving someone and trying to avoid pregnancy in a romantic relationship, if it comes, could be regrettable. Turning the woman to enjoyment mistress is ill-advised. After the enjoyment, there may not be children in marriage.
(18) Entering into a steamy relationship with sugar mummy or sugar daddy is a major trap to a relationship. You become lazy, and may have children at very old age (if at all you will have any). The sugar daddy or mother may not allow you to even marry early, if at all.
(19) Dating a tout or drunk or a smoker is an albatross. To free from such a partner who is cursed, it is advisable to relocate to a far locality, remove the telephone contact and change your contacts. Distance or dissociate from the person. The affected has to go for deliverance.
(20) Getting hooked to a person whose parents are selfish and ingrate is a big trap that must be avoided. No matter the love or magnanimity you will express to them, they would not appreciate. Rather, they try to discourage, and demean you.
(21) In trying to manage a partner who is easily offended or is irascible, be wise; otherwise, avoid the relationship. Some partners could be antagonistic and excessively aggressive. When argument arises, it could lead to a brawl or even results in broken limbs or death.
(22) Beware of partners who go for high demands and are compulsive buyers. They would land in borrowing to buy more and may eventually turn to huge debtors. This spells doom in a rosy relationship as hatred, fear and quarrel may creep in subtly.
(23) Partners who are pessimists and atheists may not end well in a relationship with their opposites. Except, they are birds of the same feathers, they could flow ceaselessly. Where your idiosyncrasies differ, avoid such. Their faith might not deliver them in times of perils, persecutions, temptations, tragedies and disasters. So, go for your hug, boo and spec.
(24) Avoid friends who cherish and adore hedonistic lifestyles. They prefer pleasures to serious issues. And they could be big spenders and extravagant of resources. They could be bootlickers, betrayers, gossips and backstabbers to make both ends meet. Where your desires are contrary, flee from the union.
(25) Finally in this piece, but not conclusively, be wise in every relationship. Do not try to pick faults with one another randomly. Correct one another, but do not command to curry obedience and respect. No relationship is perfect. Like a building block, it must be constructed, plastered and painted to become beautiful. Where your partner is unwilling to show resilience, patience and tolerance in nurturing a relationship to fruitfulness and maturity, you must run away. Every relationship needs daily oiling and salting with actions and deeds capable of keeping it. There is no need to compare your partner with another. Everybody is great in his or own way. Every relationship is built on trust and love, thus turning it a unique but covetous item.
