Bisi Adewale
Parents desire the best for their children. They work hard, make sacrifices, and even deny ourselves many pleasures just to make them succeed in the future.
But as noble as our intentions may be, there are blind spots to avoid in parenting, things we do unconsciously, habits we excuse, and attitudes we overlook, that quietly damage the future of the children they love.
A blind spot is not intentional; it is something you don’t see, yet it still has consequences. And when it comes to parenting, blind spots can destroy confidence, derail potential, and even distort the future of a child.
You may also read:
- I Lost my parents at 13 that threatened my education– Justice Mbaba Recounts
- African Child’s Day: Inculcate in your wards African Values- Parents tasked
- Infant twins inconsolable over kidnapped parents in Akwa Ibom
Let me take you on a journey on avoiding 15 Parenting Blind Spots That Damage a Child’s future, with practical illustrations that will open your eyes and help you become a destiny-builder, not a destiny-destroyer.
Overprotection Instead of Preparation
Many parents mistake shielding for loving. They cover their children from every challenge, never letting them try, fail, or learn. But children who never fall cannot learn to rise. A child who never carries responsibility will grow into an adult who avoids responsibility. Love should prepare, not just protect.
Loving Without Listening
Some parents provide money, food, and school fees but never lend an ear. A child’s heart needs more than provision; it needs connection. When you don’t listen, your child learns to remain silent, and his destiny suffers in silence.
Discipline Without Relationship
Discipline is necessary, but when it is disconnected from love, it breeds rebellion. A parent who only punishes but never plays, who only scolds but never hugs, is unknowingly creating distance. Rules without relationship lead to resentment.
Comparing Instead of Celebrating
“You’re not as smart as your brother.”
“Look at your cousin, can’t you be like him?”
These words cut deeper than knives. Comparison blinds you to your children uniqueness and leaves scars on their self-esteem. Every child is a masterpiece in God’s design; comparing them is like saying God made a mistake.
Neglecting Emotional Needs
A well-fed child can still be starving, for affection, affirmation, and acceptance. Parents often assume that food, clothes, and fees equal good parenting. But destiny is not nourished by rice and beans; it is nourished by love and presence.
Confusing Provision with Parenting
Some fathers think paying school fees is enough. Some mothers think cooking meals is all that matters. But parenting is beyond provision; it is about molding character, instilling values, and being a godly example. Money may buy books, but it cannot buy wisdom.
Ignoring Spiritual Foundations
A child may be brilliant, well-dressed, and exposed to the best education, but if they are empty spiritually, their foundation is weak. Many parents focus on academics and neglect spiritual growth. Remember: a child’s destiny without God is like a house without a foundation — it will collapse when storms come.
Unresolved Marital Conflicts
Parents often assume children don’t notice. But they do. Constant quarrels, insults, or silent treatments between father and mother wound the heart of a child. A broken marriage creates broken children. The home environment shapes destiny more than school or society.
Excessive Expectations
Some parents unknowingly live their own failed dreams through their children: forcing a child to read Medicine because they couldn’t become doctors, or pushing them into business because they failed in it. When you put unrealistic burdens on a child, you crush destiny instead of nurturing it.
Overindulgence in Technology
Gadgets are good servants but terrible masters. Giving a child a phone or tablet as a “babysitter” may look convenient, but unguarded access can corrupt their mind. Social media, games, and constant screen time can reprogramme their values faster than you imagine.
Failure to Model What You Teach
Children, don’t do what you say; they do what you do. If you preach honesty but cheat at work, your child learns hypocrisy. If you demand respect but insult others, your child learns arrogance. The greatest parenting blind spot is hypocrisy, living one way but demanding another.
Lack of Quality Time
Being around is not the same as being present. Many parents spend hours at home but remain glued to TV, phones, or laptops. Children don’t just want your presence; they crave your attention. Neglecting this damages their sense of worth.
Favouritism Among Siblings
Isaac loved Esau, Rebekah loved Jacob, and history was filled with strife. Favouritism divides children and breeds lifelong rivalry. A parent’s blind spot in showing preference can destroy unity and plant seeds of hatred in their future.
Failure to Teach them Life Skills
Some parents do everything for their children, thinking it is love. Cooking, cleaning, washing, all done by parents or house helps. Then the child grows into an adult who cannot survive without others. A destiny is damaged when a child is not trained to be responsible.
Silent Approval of Wrong Friends
Children often pick friends who influence their habits, language, and values. But many parents are blind to this. “They are just friends,” you say. But wrong friends can derail a right destiny faster than you think. A parent must be vigilant, guiding children into healthy, Godly friendships.
Dear parents, none of us is perfect. Parenting is a journey of learning and unlearning. But we must not excuse our blind spots; we must confront them. Behind every great child is a parent who refuses to be blind.
Your children’s destinies are too precious to gamble with. May God grant you the grace to raise children who will fulfill destiny, shine as light, and bring joy to your old age.
©️ Pastor Bisi Adewale
