By Bassey Asuquo
Marriage is a union of two or more people that creates a family tie and carries legal, social, and/or religious rights and responsibilities. Marriage is often, specifically, the union of only two people, to the exclusion of all others….QUOTE DICTIONARY
In Ibibio land, the first daughter is often seen as a prized item by their parents. Because high value is placed on her by her parents, it is often seen by parents as a loss to give her out for marriage.
Awa Oduongo (sacrifice and throw away)
According to findings, though nature demands that a daughter who has reached adulthood must be given out in marriage, for some parents, it is seen as a way of separating her from her parents and in most cases and places, it is usually difficult for some parents to give out their first daughter for marriage with ease. Being qualified to marry Adiaha out in some part of Ibibio tribe, requires certain rituals that the would-be- husband, his family and that of the parents must perform.
It is worthy of note that these specified rituals are usually marked by individuals, families and communities with stipulated fanfares and ceremonies.
According to research, the Awa Oduongo ritual (Sacrifice/Throw Away) takes place when an Adiaha who comes from a clan that practices this ritual is about to be married traditionally. The ritual commences when the Adiaha takes home her suitor alongside his selected family members to introduce to her parents. During that mission, they carry along with them many specified natural items to present to parents of the bride-to-be Nkong udok (knocking of door).
When items are received and the groom’s family entertained, a date is fixed for them to return. Before returning, the bride’s family carries out a holistic investigation of the potential groom and his family background, the health, social, religious and medical status of the would-be husband, his source of income as well as his overall integrity level and that of his family, in order not to give out their daughter to a man of questionable character who would bring shame to the family.
Once the family completes the enquiry and is satisfied with the status of the husband -in-waiting, a date is finally fixed for the first ritual- Awa Oduongo (sacrifice and throw away) which is often preceded by the parents inviting the potential husband to collect the list of items expected from him for the first ritual, which is often conducted fiongaran or fiongetok market days( market days in Ibibio land).
The following items are required for Awa oduongo rituals; Erong anana nnuk (Hornless sheep); ikid (tortoise); Uyai adua (Squirrel); assorted fishes like mman iyak (female fish one stick), inagha (one stick), and imin iyak (nice fish- one stick)
Others are 6 bottles of Schnapps; 1 jar of local gin; 5 jars of palm wine;25 pieces of yam;1 tin of palm oil; assorted vegetables such as afang; nkong, mmeme.
The rest are ifia otong and other types of firewood, a bundle of plantain, a piece of wrapper, cartons of beer, crates of mineral as well as Esarisa unen (a special breed of female chicken).
According to findings, Awa Oduongo ritual ceremony begins when the items are brought to the family members on a date fixed by the groom’s family..On the set day, the males in the bride’s family await their arrival by digging a very wide pit at the backyard of the compound where the ceremony is to take place, in preparation of the ritual.
When the groom and his family members arrive, the parents and kinsmen of the bride welcome them and commences the Awa Oduongo ritual ceremony immediately with the bride and groom being escorted to a spot(usually the backyard) in the compound where the ritual is to take place.
At the spot where the sheep is to be slaughtered, two long sticks called Eto itumo and eto okono are pegged closely to each other, into small dug holes that hold them in place. An odon (woven in form of a mat) is used in covering the two sticks with an opening between the odon to make way for the slaughtering of the sheep.
The bride and groom are made to stand between the odon, facing each other and a small hole is dug between them so that the blood of the sheep when slaughtered would be collected in the hole.
After the sheep has been slaughtered, incantations are made for the fertility of the bride and prosperity of their family and thereafter, the performer the rites dips his hands into the blood of the slaughtered sheep and smears it on the forehead, breast, navel and abdomen of the intending couple. Prayers are then said to the gods of the land at this point.
While the rite is on-going, the items brought by the groom and his family are prepared and cooked for the celebrations, as it is mandatory that all the items brought must be cooked and consumed on the same day the ritual takes place.
According to research, parents of the bride are forbidden from taking part in the eating and drinking that goes on. To serve them from temptation, they are usually given long chewing sticks to chew while they stay and watch others eating, drinking.
At the end of the cooking and eating, the remnants and leftover of the food is emptied into the deep hole that had been dug in the compound, with incantations and libations made and poured. At this point, a curse is placed on the head of any partaking family member who would, after the ceremony use any piece of the ritual performed to perpetrate evil on the family of the bride.
It is believed that if any item from the ritual mistakenly or erroneously finds its way close to any item belonging to the family of the bride, the resultant effect would be death in the entire family except sacrifices are done to avert such happenings.
Research findings show that concession however is given to the family of the groom who is not too buoyant, as they are permitted to source for the items demanded in bits and pieces to enable them perform the ritual ceremony.
It is observed that the task, undertaken by men who seek for the hand of the first daughter in marriage is not usually an easy one. The stress of going round to buy items needed for the ritual( in cases where the groom and his family decide to buy by themselves) and money spent on these items, are enough to discourage a suitor and make him change his mind if he had not loved the woman wholeheartedly.
Mrs. Eno Edem, a one- time curator in one of the museums in Nigeria, in her observation, has this to say ”The process is risky, in that caution must be taken when buying these items to ensure that, one is actually buying what is required.
It is usually a pitiable sight when would- be- grooms are spotted at Urua Itam (Itam market) on a given market day. They have to plead with whoever is selling to be sure that what they are getting for example, the Erong Anana Nnuk is truly a sheep without horn. Considering this stress and uncertainty, it is always safe for one to go the whole hog when performing this ritual so as to avoid the attendant repercussion that could present itself if a wrong item is bought by way of cutting cost.”
