Israel Umoh
Marriage is regarded as an honourable article. In Nigeria, it faces unique pressures — from economic hardship to cultural expectations and modern lifestyle challenges.
Recent reports show that Nigeria’s divorce rate rose to 2.9% in 2023, translating to about 1.8 divorces per 1,000 people (NewDailyPrime, 2023).
This increase highlights the urgent need for couples to build stronger emotional and financial foundations. Encouragingly, studies reveal that premarital and marital counseling can reduce divorce rates by up to 50% (The Guardian Nigeria, 2023).
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Below are 20 of the most common marriage problems Nigerian couples face — and practical ways to fix them.
1. Poor Communication
Problem: Many Nigerian couples admit they struggle to communicate effectively about money, emotions, or family expectations.
Statistics: A study in Abuja found that communication-skills training in premarital counseling significantly improves marital stability (sfjesgs.com, 2022).
Fix: Schedule weekly “talk times” without distractions. Use “I feel…” instead of blame. Active listening (repeating what you heard before replying) builds empathy.
2. Financial Pressure and Economic Hardship
Problem: Nigeria’s tough economy and inflation cause anxiety and conflict between couples.
Fix: Build a transparent budget. Share financial responsibilities and long-term goals. Create joint savings and track expenses together. Financial unity reduces resentment and power struggles.
3. Infidelity and Lack of Trust
Problem: Surveys show infidelity remains a top cause of divorce in Nigeria.
Fix: Rebuild trust through honesty, transparency, and therapy if needed. Avoid secrecy and rebuild accountability together.
4. Lack of Intimacy /Sexual Dissatisfaction
Problem: Many Nigerian couples report reduced intimacy due to stress, exhaustion, or emotional disconnect.
Fix: Prioritise emotional closeness. Discuss needs openly. Seek medical or psychological support if necessary. Happy couples that regularly reconnect physically and emotionally have higher long-term satisfaction.
5. In-Law/Family Interference
Problem: Extended family expectations often influence Nigerian marriages, leading to boundary issues.
Fix: Set and communicate clear boundaries with respect. Remember, your marriage comes first.
6. Gender Roles and Mismatched Expectations
Problem: Traditional gender roles often clash with modern economic realities.
Fix: Redefine roles based on partnership, not patriarchy. Be flexible when circumstances change (job loss, relocation, etc.).
7. Unpreparedness for Marriage
Problem: Some couples marry without understanding emotional maturity or conflict management.
Statistics: A Taraba State study found that premarital counseling significantly improved couples’ emotional adjustment and marital satisfaction (IJCPh.org, 2021).
Fix: Engage in premarital education before marriage. Discuss finances, children, and expectations. Counseling is cheaper than divorce!
8. Lifestyle Changes and Adjustment
Problem: Adjusting to a partner’s lifestyle after marriage can be overwhelming.
Fix: Practice patience, compromise, and shared routines. Small acts of love can make adjustment smoother.
9. Resentment and Unforgiveness
Problem: Bottled-up anger destroys trust over time.
Fix: Forgive quickly and communicate honestly. Seek help when resentment lingers. Forgiveness is freedom.
10. Domestic Violence and Abuse
Problem: Domestic violence remains a sad reality in some Nigerian homes.
Fix: Zero tolerance for abuse. Seek legal protection and professional counseling immediately. Safety first, always.
11. Jealousy, Control and Possessiveness
Problem: Excessive control (checking phones, isolating partners) leads to emotional suffocation.
Fix: Build mutual trust and personal boundaries. Seek therapy for insecurity or trauma.
12. Lack of Quality Time Together
Problem: Work, traffic, and side hustles leave couples disconnected.
Fix: Schedule regular “us time.” Even 30 minutes daily improves connection. Put away phones and be fully present.
13. Career or Educational Imbalance
Problem: When one partner advances faster professionally, resentment may build.
Fix: Celebrate each other’s success. Work as a team to support personal growth without rivalry.
14. Fertility and Childbearing Pressure
Problem: Societal pressure for children, especially sons, creates emotional strain.
Fix: Discuss family planning openly. Face fertility challenges together without blame. Medical and emotional support helps.
15. Addictions (Alcohol, Gambling, etc.)
Problem: Addiction damages trust and finances.
Fix: Seek professional help immediately. Recovery is possible with accountability and counseling.
16. Social Media and Unrealistic Expectations
Problem: Constant comparison on social media causes dissatisfaction.
Fix: Limit screen time. Celebrate your real-life marriage, not an online fantasy.
17. Cultural and Religious Differences
Problem: Tribal or religious differences can create family tension.
Fix: Respect each other’s backgrounds and blend traditions fairly. Communicate boundaries early.
18. Unrealistic Wedding Expectations
Problem: Couples invest in expensive weddings but ignore marital preparation.
Statistics: With 11 divorces per 1,000 people recorded among Nigeria’s “ever-married” population (Colab Research, 2014), focus should shift to lasting unions, not lavish ceremonies.
Fix: Prioritize relationship health over wedding glamour.
19. Lack of Personal Growth
Problem: When one partner stops evolving, the marriage stagnates.
Fix: Encourage hobbies, skill development, and self-care. A healthy “you” strengthens “us.”
20. Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
Problem: Many Nigerian couples were never taught healthy ways to argue or resolve issues.
Fix: Learn to pause before reacting. Use “we” language. Agree on fair-fight rules: no insults, no third-party gossip.
Studies show that couples who undergo counseling before or during marriage report up to 50% greater marital satisfaction.
Real-life examples from Abuja and Taraba State demonstrate that communication and emotional-intimacy counseling significantly reduce divorce risk.
Did You Know?
Nigeria’s divorce rate: 2.9% (2023)
Couples in counseling: 50% more likely to stay happily married
Premarital counseling improves communication and trust stability by over 60% in some studies.
Marriage is beautiful but demands effort. As a marriage counselor in Nigeria, you can help couples thrive despite challenges by teaching communication, emotional intelligence, and resilience.
With divorce rates rising, early counseling is no longer optional — it’s essential.
Are you facing communication gaps, mistrust, or family pressure? Don’t wait until it’s too late.
